Photo: Ivan Shunyakov on Unsplash
Dear People of Hope:
The photo above shows the water in 3 states – a beginning (the wave), a neutral zone (less white water) and an ending (the water running across the sand) depicting the Transition Model, a model widely used to understand transition. It seems simple enough and intuitive. Transition happens in three stages: endings, neutral zone, and new beginnings. It seems simple, but some of us want to skip right from endings to new beginnings. It seems simple, but some of us want to remain in the endings, in what was instead of moving forward into what is.
Endings mean the death of something, full stop. We have probably all experienced sorrowful endings: when people we love die, when our children move away from home, when we retire or quit a long-term job. In all these situations, the ending is hard, but what can be harder is not letting go and allowing these changes. Death means life on the other side will be different, not the same. For us, the Esperanza community, endings involve letting go of what happened in the past and not fixating on it—whether what happened was pleasant or unpleasant.
Only once we let go of what was do we enter the neutral zone, a wild place full of questions and flux and confusion and distress. When we feel like we can’t control what’s happening, when we are uncomfortable, when we experience the full range of emotions from joy to sorrow to fear, we know we’re in the neutral zone. Welcome! And congratulations! Entering the neutral zone is the core of the transition process. It’s important to hang out here for a while because, regardless of the transition, it takes time to figure out new identities and processes and roles. Much as we would like to skip this uncomfortable, distressing place, no truly new beginnings happen without it. Without the neutral zone, we push into false starts and establish unhealthy patterns.
It seems to me we are in the neutral zone here at Esperanza. Individually, some of us may feel stuck in the endings still. Some of us may look back at the good old days and wish for them again. Some of us may be bitter about old hurts. But my sense is that, overall, we have let go of what was and are ready to embrace what is. Good work, friends!
For now, we live in the neutral zone. For now, we try not to jump to new beginnings too quickly…because we don’t actually know what those new beginnings will be. There is nothing pre-determined about this transition. Instead, we show up and see what the Holy Spirit has for us. We are silently attentive to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Since we are in this together, we not need fear. Let me know if you ever need a hug while we hang out in the neutral zone. I’m here for you! 😉
With love,
Pastor Sarah